What is Mindfulness, Anyway?

There are roughly 1,000 waking minutes in your day. Today I am going to challenge you to consider how many of those minutes you are actually living. If you are honest with yourself, the answer will probably surprise you.

Here is an example of what I am getting at.

Pretend you are getting coffee with a friend, but instead of hearing what your friend has said, your mind is thinking about something else. For me, it is usually about what I have to do tomorrow or what I didn’t do yesterday. Maybe you are even making comparisons or judgments about your friend’s life (everyone does that, too). Whatever the case, while you get caught up thinking about that, you’ve missed out on what your friend has said, and she is waiting for you to respond. Awkward.

Well, it happens to the best of us. On autopilot, most of us are pretty terrible at participating in the present moment. Our minds tend to get us off track from the here-and-now. This is the opposite of mindfulness.

So, you might ask, if that is the opposite of mindfulness, what is mindfulness?

Thich Nhat Hanh teaches a great lesson on this subject. It involves a tangerine (hence the clip art). He tells a story about a man named Jim who comes to him to learn about mindfulness. As Jim is talking, he is also peeling a tangerine and tossing sections into his mouth to eat while pulling away the next piece, and so on. Thich Nhat Hanh tells Jim, in essence, to stop.

Jim had not been eating mindfully. Therefore, he was not participating—read: living—in the present moment. Rather, he was participating in the future moment as he chose to prepare his next piece of fruit over appreciating the piece that was already in his mouth. Had he repeated this cycle over and over, he would have missed out on actually experiencing a single bite of his tangerine. He got stuck preparing for some future experience that would never come, had his teacher not intervened.

Do you ever focus on the next section of fruit, even when you’ve already got one in your mouth? Do you tell yourself you are going to appreciate something that has not yet come to pass, even when that very thing is right in front of you?

The lesson, in Thich Nhat Hanh’s words, is simple: “What is the purpose of eating a tangerine? It is to eat the tangerine.” During the time you eat a tangerine, eating that tangerine is the most important thing in your life.

This is mindfulness. You are mindful when you focus on whatever it is you are actually doing, with intention and purpose, even if it is just eating a snack. We can manufacture happiness by living in the past or the future, and it can feel so close to the real thing. But it is not the same thing. True happiness can only be felt in the present moment.

Thich Nhat Hanh calls it “the art of stopping,” and it is pivotal to the practice of mindful living. When we don’t take the time to stop, we miss out on really living. Ask yourself: how many minutes of my day have I really lived today? What percentage of my life do I spend really living?

Here’s another example: There have been countless times when I have driven to a destination only to feel like I suddenly arrived there without a real recollection of the stops or turns I took. My body was in total autopilot mode while my mind had taken me far away from the present moment. Has this happened to you?

The next time you get in the car, try to remember Thich Nhat Hanh’s message to stop and practice the art of stopping.

So, you might be thinking, what do I do once I’ve stopped?

Great question. Let’s talk about that.

The next step is to lean into your other senses: your sight, smell, touch, hearing, and taste. Take in the sights of your drive. What do you notice? Listen to the sounds your car makes. What can you pick up on? Notice the scenery around you that is unique to that day or season.

The key is to be curious about the present moment with intent and focus. Curiosity is the opposite of judgment. It allows for a widening, rather than a closing, of our minds and perspectives. In this way, it leads to less judgment, more gratitude, and deeper possibility in any given moment.

So let’s shift our focus, unleash our curiosity and make some room for gratitude and wonder the next chance we get!

Want to learn more?

I encourage you to read Thich Nhat Hanh’s full discussion of “The Art of Living” in The Mindfulness Bell. It offers a deeper look at the tangerine story and the practice of mindful living.